THE PROBLEM
Diary of a Victim
Date: 9/15/2003
Dear Diary,
I am sad today. She really hurt my feelings. I didn't do anything to make her mad, she just didn't like me from day one. I don't like how she talks about me in class to Kate. I know they're talking about me, I just never knew what they were saying. Today during gym class, I heard Tessa call me fat. I
don't think I'm fat. I
didn't think I was fat… I don't get it. There are plenty of people who are bigger than me, it's not like I'm the heaviest in the class. I guess I am bigger than some girls… I wish I never heard what they were saying. Now every time they whisper, I know what they're calling me. I hate my body, how come I'm not skinny?
Date: 2/26/07
Dear Diary,
I can't get that image out of my head. The one from the mall last week, when I tried on that shirt. How ugly I looked… It's the only thing swirling around in my mind. I looked like a whale. A human whale, how is that even possible? No matter what I try on it just makes me look so big. Danny told me I looked skinny in class when I told him about last week. I don't believe him, I think he was just lying to make me feel better, I know what's really on his mind. I know what everybody who see's me thinks… I'm so embarrassed. I hate my body, how come I'm not skinny?
Date: 4/07/13
Dear Diary,
Today sucked. Everybody keeps telling me I have a problem. It's not my fault they don't appreciate the fact that I lost weight. Anyways, I went to the ER today. It all started in gym class when my stupid teacher made us run 5 laps around the basketball court. We usually only run 3 so it's unfair that he did that. I was doing ok until the 4th lap then I started to get pretty dizzy. The next thing that I knew I was staring up at the teacher and she was asking me how much I'd eaten that day and how much water I drank. I lied. I told her I ate breakfast and lunch at the normal times and had already had a bottle of water. I had to walk to the nurses' office and felt fine but apparently I passed out again walking there and somebody called the ambulance. It's all so dumb. The doctor said my heart isn't strong enough for moderate exercise because I'm not eating enough. I think they're being overdramatic. I just didn't drink enough water, that's all. I didn't tell the doctor that I had been skipping meals since 8th grade. It didn't used to be this bad. I used to not be a able to deal with the clenching of my stomach every time I missed a meal. I don't even notice it anymore. Now even thinking about food makes me nauseous. Even though I'm only 89 pounds I still don't like the way my body looks. I hate my body, how come I'm not skinny?
Diary of a Bully
Date: 9/15/2003
I don't like Morgan. Both Kate and I don't. We don't have a reason for it, we just don't like her. Maybe it's because she's bigger than us. We always joke that if she fell she would probably bounce. Kate and I were talking about her like usual in gym class today and I think she overheard us call her fat. I'm not exactly sure if she did though. Oh well.
Date: 2/26/07
Today was stupid. I got yelled at by mom for turning an assignment in a week late and for having a D in math. She's so dumb. She doesn't understand me. She's just always yelling at me and won't leave me alone. I talked to Kate about it when we skipped 3rd hour. She asked me to smoke a cigarette with her outside, I had never done it before. I kind of liked it. I think we're going to do the same thing tomorrow, at least I hope we do. It's an excuse to get out of that stupid school and away from those stupid people.
Date: 4/07/13
I can't wait to get out of this place. I hope I can graduate though. My grades are pretty bad cause I never go to class. I'm just worried about that court date for the felony next week. It was so dumb, I was just trying to have a good time. It's not a crime to have a good time in a friends house while they're on vacation. But apparently that's "breaking and entering." I think the cops are just people who never had fun when they were a kid so they try to ruin our fun. I don't even care. Who am I kidding, I'll never get into college, it's not worth worrying about anyways. I'll probably just move in with Kate. She's had an apartment ever since she dropped out. At least there we won't get busted for having a good time.
Diary of a Child
Date: 9/15/2003
Today we watched a video about bullying and I think that it will help the problem in the school. Sometimes the boys call the girls names on the playground, but we've never stood up to them before. We didn't think it would do anything, they were boys and they probably wouldn't listen. But in the video that we watched I saw how those girls stand up to those boys and they stopped calling them names. I think that my friends and I will start doing that instead of just standing around.
Date: 2/26/07
Dylan was being so mean today. He kept telling Emily that she was stupid. It bugs me when he does that. I told him to quit it but he kept on going. Eventually Emily and I just walked away and let the teacher know what he was doing. If he can't be mature enough to know that he looks like a jerk when he does that, the teacher will. Emily and I sat together at lunch and talked today. I really like her. I think that we're going to have lunch together again tomorrow.
Date: 4/07/13
I can't believe that I'm going to graduate in a month. That's so exciting! It's been such a long road but it has been so worth it. I'm really happy with the way that my class has come to be like a family. Even though we're all so different we respect each other and that's my favorite part. I'm going to miss my friends so much. I couldn't have made it through without their support and love. It's crazy that we've stayed friends since we were kids. I can't believe that I'm going to graduate in a month!!!
